I would like to preface this with the fact that this is a rewrite since the original disappeared I will do my best to cover everything the original had but I might miss a thing or two.
Masks are often defined as a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or terrify other people. The key word there is "disguise". However though I disagree a few do not view masks as that. Oscar Wilde is one of them.
I am not sure where Wilde was going with this, I can understand some though cause there are cases where a mask will show you how we want to be. However they do not show who we are. I am reminded of the movie of Mulan. In the movie the main heroin was very torn with who she was and who her family wanted to be. In the song "Reflection" the question is asked who is she really.
In this She knows who she is and its tearing her up to be something she is not on the outside. I can relate as I am sure many can. We all wear masks at some point ,however, the key to breaking past those masks are eyes.
Eyes less a person has a true poker face will betray you faster then anything. They are truly the windows to the soul.
But why masks to begin with? Like Mulan for a lot its a Societal thing and a Familial thing. I believe its safe to say for many it is because of those two reasons. Every society world wide has a "mold" they believe people should fit in. Rather right or wrong that is how it is. I personally love individuality. I love the fact that there is only one me. I have referenced this before but I am going to do it again.
We as humans need to remember this quote and rather the masks we wear show something else we are still us and we will eventually have to accept that. Granted that acceptance is hard even if we get past the society mold we still have the family mold that we are often raised to believe that we must fit in. Family at times can be the most critical and most hurtful. Which is why many of us wear certain masks to just survive. For me I wear one a lot during this time of year because it is easier to smile then to cry and show that I truly just do not do well during the holidays. We all have our reasons for masks, for me the holiday happy mask is because I have spent every Christmas single since my 17th one. In a family where the great grands are now getting married and having kids though I am happy for them It also sucks majorly, yet I don't wanna bring down the family so I will cry on the inside and wear the happy. Though, I am sure some know. But as I am re writing, I see things more clear. Maybe there was a reason why the blog did not work the first time. I see that it is okay to hurt, it is okay to cry. It does not mean I am weak it means I am human. I am reminded of the ending song to Mulan, though it was done specifically for the movie, there is a good bit of truth to it especially in the chorus. The song "True to Your Heart" and we must be true to ourselves regardless of the mask we wear. If we bottle to much it can and will destroy us inside and then there will be no reason for a mask it will be to late.
I used to end blogs with a little personal challenge for my readers as well as myself to follow. So in that tradition I am going to. Instead of hiding all the time be true to yourself if that means admiting you need some kinda of help do it, find that help. We all have our reasons for hiding things, PTSD, fears, depression, insecurities, pain, sickness. But we also all need someone we can go to. Find that one person that has your back regardless and treat them like a grown jewel. Rather it be a minister, a doctor, a therapist, a friend someone, it can even be yourself if you are a journal person, or God if you are a christian. It does not matter who you go to just go to someone. Also remember masks are not bad in some cases they are most definitely needed, but in other cases they are not. We all must learn when and when not to use them and just show or own beautiful faces. It is about time that more people match their reflections, and I am including myself in that.
Lastly to my friends who have ripped away my masks from time to time and made me face myself thank you.
It has been nearly two years since I have blogged. When I said I'd do it again I was thinking a year tops, time sure does fly. I also recently started "letters to myself", it was my way of personal pep talks, things that I can read later to remind myself of things that everyone needs to remind themselves of. Which is also the reason for the following blog.
There is a saying everyone has heard... "sticks and stones can break my bones ,but words can never hurt me". This is utter insanity. Words can and do hurt as much as sticks and stones, in fact they hurt deeper. The injuries from sticks and stones will heal over tine but the injuries from words can stay with people for a life time.
I never really gave this much thought till recently. I've always tried to be a mentally and emotionally strong person. Yeah I have my triggers, fears, insecurities.. who doesn't? But I have also learned them and in a way I've become a "mistess of masks". The strength I've clung to for years got tested the past few months. When I relearned the hurt of words. I'm not going to overly spill my guts on it cause honestly there is still alot of personal healing going on. Instead, I think it's best to be shorter and give a few things to ponder.
1. Think about it first
I know.. 'easier said than done' is in your head. Which is true. But the reason for it is this... Words might come out easy but after said they might not be easily forgiven. I remember things even from childhood said to me that hurt. The tongue is at times our worse enemy and remember words are like toothpaste easy to get out impossible to put back.
2. Think about how you would feel.
So many wear the "nothing affects me" mask the most. In truth the most emotionally retrained are at times some of the most sensitive. A person can have a nothing can hurt me or i don't care what others think mentality, but most if they stop n really evaluate it do actually care. Which brings me to the number 2, if what you are about to say to someone would hurt you chances are it will hurt them. And in some cases hurt them to a point of not being able to fix it. If you value that friendship, relationship or whatever then consider the risk of what you want to say.
3. There is no excuse for hurtful words.
So many will say "oh such n such was just upset". Which is plausible. However, instead of blowing up and releasing word toothpaste how bout taking a step back count to ten and breath. Then talk it out like adults. Especially if it's someone important to you.
Truthfully we are all guilty of hurtful words and chances are most have been on the receiving end to. Some more then their fair share. But if it is any comfort to those who have been hurt by words remember you are not alone. And remember just as words can hurt they can heal.
