While at the fair came to a realization as I was talking to highschool friends and my second family that somethings never change .. It's us that change... Rather it's weight, age, spouses, kids all are still changes.. What doesn't change our personalities and who we are. Some changes we choose for ourselves some we don't but they still happen like weight gain. I thought I had changed that I wasn't the same small town girl lol mainly cause I'm one that had moved away and come back.. As I'm walking around though in my boots covered in red neshoba county dirt dust I realize I haven't at all.. I also realized I'm proud of my small town roots. It makes me me and that me is just who I need to be.
That all said I'm happy with me yes and I think it's about time I was able to be, there are still a few insecurities I have.. There is nothing wrong with that everyone rather they admit it or not do. The key is to not let them define who we are.. So this month I took a big step.. I gave myself a gym membership for my birthday, set a goal of weight loss, and doing my best to stick with it.. The reasoning behind it is simple I'm not happy that I'm 5'7" and at the weight I am, for years I fooled myself into thinkin I was so before I'm to old to fix it I'm gonna try to. So far I haven't lost to many pounds but its only been about a week week and a half , but starting to see some change and I'm feeling better.
Lastly in my update on self view this is more of an advice, suggestion. Be you !! Don't let anyone change you and don't change for them. If people don't like you for you that's their problem no one else's... However if being you means you need to change for you to be happy do it ! If you wanna loose 50 pounds to be happy with your outer appearance do it, if you wanna live out a dream or two do it, if you wanna find a spouse or significant other but yet you haven't put yourself out there to .. get off your butt and go out and find them ( you can't find them sitting at home ) .. But do all this for YOU ! Not anyone else !! Heck I know my mom would rather have a 29 year old daughter with a bf, or guy in my life then a 29 year old that's single I told her straight up years ago I wasn't ready. That's starting to change and my not ready is evolving to ready long as they accept me for me .. But the key there is it's changing cause I want it to not mom .. I'm finaly getting to the point I don't have to party every weekend, I know I'll always have a wild hair that was shown the week of the fair and that's ok why? Cause that's being MEEEEEE.. Giggles and though it took a long time I'm finaly ok with me (with the exception of wanting to get my late teens body back but hey who doesn't?) and that's how it should be because once I'm ok with me others will be and if not then they aren't true to them selves or to me as friends and I don't need that. So to all my friends I'm saying this if y'all wanna improve yourselves I'm behind you 100% percent come hell or high water but with one condition ..it MUST be what y'all want..
Peace and Love y'all !!!
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