Words Can Hurt

It has been nearly two years since I have blogged. When I said I'd do it again I was thinking a year tops, time sure does fly.  I also recently started "letters to myself", it was my way of personal pep talks, things that I can read later to remind myself of things that everyone needs to remind themselves of.   Which is also the reason for the following blog.

There is a saying everyone has heard... "sticks and stones can break my bones ,but words can never hurt me".   This is utter insanity.  Words can and do hurt as much as sticks and stones, in fact they hurt deeper.   The injuries from sticks and stones will heal over tine but the injuries from words can stay with people for a life time.

I never really gave this much thought till recently.  I've always tried to be a mentally and emotionally strong person. Yeah I have my triggers, fears, insecurities.. who doesn't?  But I have also learned them and in a way I've become a "mistess of masks".  The strength I've clung to for years got tested the past few months.  When I relearned the hurt of words.  I'm not going to overly spill my guts on it cause honestly there is still alot of personal healing going on.  Instead,  I think it's best to be shorter and give a few things to ponder.

1. Think about it first
I know.. 'easier said than done' is in your head.  Which is true.  But the reason for it is this... Words might come out easy but after said they might not be easily forgiven.   I remember things even from childhood said to me that hurt.   The tongue is at times our worse enemy and remember words are like toothpaste easy to get out impossible to put back.

2.  Think about how you would feel.
So many wear the "nothing affects me" mask the most.  In truth the most emotionally retrained are at times some of the most sensitive.  A person can have a nothing can hurt me or i don't care what others think mentality, but most if they stop n really evaluate it do actually care.   Which brings me to the number 2, if what you are about to say to someone would hurt you chances are it will hurt them.  And in some cases hurt them to a point of not being able to fix it.  If you value that friendship, relationship or whatever then consider the risk of what you want to say.

3.  There is no excuse for hurtful words.
So many will say "oh such n such was just upset".  Which is plausible.  However, instead of blowing up and releasing word toothpaste how bout taking a step back count to ten and breath.  Then talk it out like adults.  Especially if it's someone important to you.  

Truthfully we are all guilty of hurtful words and  chances are most have been on the receiving end to.   Some more then their fair share.   But if it is any comfort to those who have been hurt by words remember you are not alone.  And remember just as words can hurt they can heal.  

Thoughts

As I sit in my favorite Mexican restaurant, just feet away from policemen, I write this.  Glancing over I see one I've known my whole life, we are the same age. And I think how honored I am to say that. I also see the table is diverse. All sworn to protect and serve of our town regardless of color, age, sex.  I'm saying all this in light of the horrible brutality that took place in Dallas. I should also say this blog  might strike nerves. 

First ALL lives MATTER!!! It doesn't matter race, sex, age, religion.. WE ALL MATTER.  It frustrates me so wait no it infuriates me that WE as a nation can't move past our history. We should be learning from it vs living in it.. Our country is a amazing rainbow of people. Yes we have a rocky history but who doesn't? But instead of certain groups playing the poor me cards why don't we all work to fix it ?  We need to be educating all as best as possible on our history and stop enabling by stereotyping them by characteristics based on colors.  I guess it's true ignorance is bliss but good lawd , if that's the case being half Hispanic if I fit the typical "view" I'd be short, barely speaking English, doing whatever jobs I could.   LUCKILY I wasn't raised that way , and I'm lucky my friends don't treat me any different because they have been educated they know I'm not the typical stereotype they also know Hispanics are STILL Caucasion..   If we stop going "well they just that way it's bred into them cause of where they are from" this world this country would be better.  I got news for those that haven't thought about it,  you can be trash and be any color, you can be a criminal and be any color, you can be brilliant and be any color, you can protect and serve and be any color.   We need to wake up and stop infighting and realize we have bigger problems in the country, we have full nations that want to destroy us.  

Now I'm not saying everyone should be best buddies, I realize some races just don't mix well however that doesn't mean we can't be civil.  I can't speak for all religions but I can mine and I was taught God loves us all we are all his children so in theory we are all family. Why can't we act like it ??  Because we are so caught up in crying out about our history. And honesty it's not all of us as a nation it's just one portion, which is bullshit! I'm sorry to be so blunt but I don't see the Latinos, Asians, Irish, French, Indian both native and India, crying out. Most of our nation live in peace.   I'm not saying any one color is superior I can't cause let's face it I'm a walking Heinz57 bottle I for sure have Hispanic Scottish Irish and no telling what else.   But I was mixed and created for a purpose, we all were!     

So I'll close with a few thoughts.

1.  We need to learn from the past not keep living in it

2.  We need to remember ALL lives MATTER

3.  We should be pulling together as a nation not driving wedges 

4.  The Christians need to remember one of the greatest commandments.. Love thy neighbor as you would love yourself.

Those non Christian or non religious could still learn from it as well. 

 

All Things Happen For a Reason

This week as the world of my cousin and his sweet wife got rocked.. I find that I'm repeating over and over in my head "everything has a reason" "God has a purpose". It isn't that I'm questioning my faith by any means or God.  More of a trying understand why things happen. Without just calling my cousins out to much , I'll give a little background.  My cousin recently completed Navy boot camp I couldn't be more proud of him and his selfless act to serve his country. He and his wife recently moved to his first posting soon after learned they were expecting. They had been praying and trying for a while to complete their family. However, I guess God apparently some lessons to teach our whole family because complications set in. This week, 19 weeks in, I got a baby angel cousin. (Takes a moment to collect thoughts after  that last sentence)  

Again this blog isn't about them but they are what triggered it.   It's situations like this that even the strongest in their faith, whatever that faith maybe, question. We wonder why, we soul search, we cry, as pray. We ultimately do conclude that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  That there is a bigger purpose that we may or may not see.   Some start in a way to realize and see those bigger purposes.  We all handle it differently but one thing is for sure we all say why.  Rather it's the loss of a child or family member, a wreck, a bad diagnosis from a doctor or anything else that rocks us we all ask why.  It's human nature. 

The truth is in many cases we never know the answer.  As a kid I was given the "Big Book of Tell Me Why", in almost every why question a child could have was covered. As adults we don't always have the luxury of knowing why.  But we have the abilities to come up with logical conclusions.  What I do know is we are never ever given more then we can handle though many times it seems we are broken with no hope of healing.  

What I want everyone to take from this. Is better delivered by being numbered: 

1. You ARE stronger then you know 

2. Never loose your faith 

3. Everything and everyone on this earth has a purpose!!!!!! 

4. When in doubt talk it out. Rather it's with a friend, family, yourself , God , your pet, a journal .... talk .... things always look better when you let it all out. 

In closing I'd like to reference one of my favorite groups of verses from Ecclesiastes 3 : 

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. ~~~peace and love everyone !!!

My thoughts on confederate flag and gun control

We ALL need to get off this bs of banning the confederate flag and also off gun control ...first it's not the darn confederate flag, good Lawd people it's the REBEL FLAG.. Now try to follow me here rebel comes from rebellion , the southern states rebelled against the United States forming the Confederate states when they left the United States,  they chose to use the rebel flag ...  It's been used throughout history and not just by the confederacy.. I was a Leake academy rebel !!! We flew the flag proudly to support our team. Just saying and racism was never even thought ..  Secondly what if the south had won?? Would we be saying lets ban the union symbols ???? Valid question ?   There is so much more to worry on instead of rather it's bad or not.. And don't  get me started on constitutional rights to fly it use it or buy it.. 

Now guns.. GUNS DO NOT KILL PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!!!  THEY EITHER ONE OF THEEE THINGS: THEY ARE SICK AND TWISTED , FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM OR ITS SELF DEFENSE!!!  Ok I feel better.. My point being we were given the right in the constitution . Why? Cause we were fighting a war for our freedom , people needed to be able to fend for theirselves. How bout this vs convict the ones that use guns to feed family, defend family, and protect us .... We help the ones that are sick and learn the signs and report the signs!!! Not just sit back and watch our friends if we think they could do something horrible but get them help.  Radical concept?? Not really when you think about it going against England was radical and yet our fore farthers did, radical problems take radical solutions!!! 

Ultimately we have way larger issues then these two in our country and our world!!! How bout we fix those!!  Thanks to those that actually read my rant 

Just a little rant.. With a few opinions... Part 1

I tend to not express political views publically or discuss current affairs anymore  but I'm changing that rule .. 

(Bloggers warning : this will probably anger a lot.. If you don't think you can handle a non sugar coated view do not I repeat DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!) 

First national things: 

Baltimore- I'm infuriated that everyone is crying "race".. Really ??  Had this happened to an Asian, Hispanic, or Caucasian person probably non of the issues woulda happened.. The Baltimore people are making it an issue, it's them dragging it out. They are the ones making their race look bad, when they faught so hard for equality. Yes it was bad a man died, but to drag it out like this. I guess we are all back in high school again?

The  Elections - I have concluded I have the best GOP team that ghe convention needs .... Yall ready? Well gonna make you wait.  (Grinning slightly evilly) ... First Hillary, really people think we need to go back to a Clinton era? It don't take rocket science or least it shouldn't to see the dodging, lies, coverups that she's doing, and to think she was originally republican.  She already had to resign secretary if state which is fourth in line of command to take over if needed .. Why put her in the top?  Now because she's the only democrat I have really looked at back to the republicans. Rubio and Cruz are young bucks, they aren't really ready to run for presidency one has to be 35, they are what early 40s? Actually I'll google that... Rubio 43 Cruz 44.. Yes political babies.. Or least that's how I see them, brilliant but they won't get the older votes.  Bush eh I like him but many of his stances I don't agree with. Those two CEOs or what ever they are are clearly smart yes.. But political unknowns what they will be able to do is bring up issues that will need to be addressed.  There are others set to announce that haven't time will tell. Then you have Carson and Huckabee .. Carson came from nothing, brilliant and knows what it feels like to be a small fish in a big world.. Huckabee has small country-ish background a good ole boy from the south, also brilliant. Both are godly. Carson know the constitution like he knows his kids names. Huckabee has the national eye.  Which brings me to who i would run.... In case Yall haven't figured it out.   Huckabee Carson..  I think combined they could bring the votes. And would make for a good team. 

Other things: 

Don't we still have a fourth atomic bomb? Who cares if it's obselete brake that baby out, evacuate the innocents and drop it. End of issues. 

It's sad when Mississippi looses an officer that happens to be black and our state not just the blank people rallies around his family when we had more issues with civil rights then Baltimore .. Perhaps for once Mississippi is setting an example. 

This nation this world needs an intervention of a godly manner, wait what am I saying ???  That's been going on just no one is listening .. What's it gonna take another flood? 

One final note this is all one persons view as I said many won't like it or agree.. And I'm sure more will come. 

Just some food for thought

(edited because I was late finishing) As the one year anniversary of the death of one of my dearest friends drew near and passed I was reminded of several sayings about death and life. I'm also reminded of the many others I've lost in the past 12 years specifically the young ones the ones with so much more to give:  Lacey ,Maxim, Lindsey, Beth, Josh and most recently Hollis.   It's said quite well in the second book of The Hunger Games Trilogy "our lives aren't always measured in numbers but by the lives we touch". The six mentioned did touch lives, especially mine in countless ways, I wish I could name all but it would take to much time.  This blog will end up being sorta short and simple but hopefully inspiring. We all have a purpose on this earth other then driving our parents bonkers. Some are meant to do marvelous things, some are meant to less grand but still great and so on, regardless it's what's decided for us at our birth by God or if you aren't Christian by what ever higher power you believe in. The key is we also have the ability to choose our paths, therefore getting to our history moment might take longer then others.  This isn't always bad not everyone can be brain surgeons, some need to be artists who for the record are STILL brilliant, some need to march to their own beats who again are some of the most brilliant people I know. Hollis was one of these brilliant people so brilliant at times that I was in awe yet he did walk to his own best and tended to choose the hard, rough paths. His ultimate journey was cut short I for a long time felt it was to soon, now a year later I believe it was to teach us. For the Leake Academy class of 2003 it brought some of us together that we hadn't spoken to in 10 years, for others perhaps it taught to maybe be a little more careful, for myself it helped me remember just how to live with your heart, as an empath (rather it's believed in or not) it showed me also just how strong friendship bonds are and remain I know my first knight is always watching over me.  

In closing, nothing is ever ever promised. Live your life to the fullest but also live it to where you can say you are proud of what you did. Many people like to say no regrets, however they secretly do regret. They may regret a choice made a decade ago but still have it.  Don't give yourself that chance, look at the possible effects of every choice/path first be wise and live life to where you don't regret. And finally , touch all the lives you can smile at people and wave (you would be surprised just how that can change a strangers day), randomly text a friend with a smile emoji, tell friends you love them (never know when you won't get to again).  

Life of a Southern Girl with Gluten Intolerance

It was asked that I blog about my experiences with gluten intolerance.. So Jin here you go.

First gluten intolerance or celiac (depending on your diagnoses) is NOT a death sentence.  However it is a lifestyle change..  Celiac is the easiest to diagnose because it can at times be detected with blood work , intolerance which is what I have is often miss diagnosed because blood work won't show it.. This happened to me, for years it was it could be Chrones, UC, or IBD (doctors answer when they have no answer). They even took out my gallbladder saying it could be that, granted I would of had to have it out eventually I was showing no signs of pain so probably could of waited years.  I had shown symptoms of intolerance since I was a little girl I called them tummy flare ups or utohs.. My friends got used to picking up on if I was having trouble and my parents as well. In roughly 2008 a year before the gallbladder diagnoses I started self treating and had no idea by discovering what did and didn't hurt my tummy. At the time I was also in Mobikr surrounded by grilled and steamed seafood which helped tremendously.. Then back home symptoms got worse and a year n half later I met my angel doctor. She knew my symptoms on a personal level cause she had had the same and told me she had celiac.. Immediately it was lets do the scope just .. 2 months later it was no denying it she was 99.9% sure I had intolerance.. I was asked to give her two weeks and if I wasn't better she would know she was wrong and we would go to other options. 

On March 17,2014 I embarked on the two weeks.. And I became a whole new person. The cramping, bloating, rumbles, being drained, temperament, all stopped or improved.. To use my dads word I  "deflated". It was very clear that I finally found my answer. Now ,9 months later, I am still gluten free feeling better then ever my body is on a schedule now literally and no more having to be prepared for a issue.  My parents eat gluten free with me once a week, my friends scout out menus and places we can eat ( though I can still eat most places), and I've become more health conscious. 

Now here comes the "death sentence " belief, everyone thinks cause you can't have wheat or barley products you can't have bread,pasta, fried things and the like which for a southern girl or guy might as well be the the end of the world. But it's so not the case, I eat bread, pasta l, have fried food though I've gotten used to grilled. The trick is to find what you like, the rice blends of flour and noodles you can't tell the difference with (disclaimer rice flour is finer so a little goes a long way). Also especially if you have celiac remember it's in a lot: toothpastes, some bbq chips, Pringles, some corn meals so for the first month you will find you read labels a lot, google a ton, and ask many questions. To the ones with intolerance you can still cheat but you MUST learn that cheat cut off!!!  Everyone's sensitivity with intolerance is different.. For me if i cheat the ratio non gluten to gluten has to be pretty high or issues return. However once you start feeling better chances are you won't want to cheat. 

Things that are your ultimate friends when eating gluten free : 

*brands* not all but just some of my favs

   Glutano: everything they make is amazing !!! However I'm not a fan of their crakers. 

Great Value: has a great Mac n cheese 

Udies : for breads

Red Mill: flours and other baking things

Pilsbury is making gluten free now  

*eating out*

Chic fil a - grilled nuggets and fries are not exposed to flour 

Dominos 

Mellomushroom

Most Mexican places will substitute corn shells for flour if you just ask

Remember you can still eat out just watch what you eat :) and I'd avoid buffets you never know with that 

Once again it's a lifestyle chance done by people on a daily basis , it's not the end of the world. I for one can't imagine eating or living any other way it sure beats the alternative..